Without warning,she erupted.
The fumes seeping into the open air through her nostrils.
Take avenge for the years of mistreatment.
The streets are quiet and filled with debris.
Dust swarms into the atmosphere,
consumed by the few living inhabitants that are left in
the burden.
Shattered dreams and hopes are scattered now across the ground
never to be brought into place again.
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well first, i think you have great discribtions,
ReplyDeletebut im a little confused, are you personifing nature and saying she like errupted out of anger?, be careful with that because obscurity is good, but too much leads to confusion and im a little confused....
I really liked the fact that you compared a volcano or whatever natural disaster it ws to a human person getting pissed off at someone. My favorite line was the last one, which says, "Shattered dreams and hopes are scattered now across the ground never to be brought into place again" and I really like this line because I think of the people whose dreams, and hopes are scattered. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat poem, but I am a little bit confused. Are you referring to a person erupting or are you personifiying nature? Like Caitilin, my favorite line is, "Shattered dreams and hopes are scattered now across the ground" because the word scatter reminds me of the debris that was everywhere in the picture.
ReplyDeleteI like how you turned the picture into a revenge story. It's the other side of disasters, anger. It makes you think about how far an angry person will go for revenge. my favorite line is "The streets are quiet and filled with debris" because it is very easy to imagine. I would compare this to a shark because there supposed to be harmless if you don't provoke them but they have a large bite.
ReplyDeleteLike Amanda and Caitin, "Shattered dreams and hopes are scattered now across the ground." I like it because it reminds us that your poem is not about a real nature disaster explotion, but about a person who, figuratively, exploded, and their dreams are all over the place. I don't think that it's too obscure, like Ashley said. The last line brings it into reality.
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